The HARD TRUTH

"Yesterday, I am CLEVER, I want to change the world. Today, I am WISER, I am changing MYSELF."

Opportunities they said, knock once. For myself, it knocked many times and still knocking.....I may have let those opportunities flew away for many times, I am still being chased by opportunities no matter how I evade 'em....

While others are asking for an opportunity even once, myself is driving them away. But in a way, there is always a positive result after a while. I thought, even I drove one opportunity away, I get more than two the following days....{Wheeeooww}. How about you? Have you experienced this kind of moment?

But even all ends well, I have to follow my instinct which one is to grab.

Marriage is one. No matter how good the guy is, but when you don't feel the magic, it's hard to decide just because you just want to follow the pressure and excitement.....it's a HARD TRUTH for me but it helps rescue my own self to one that I may regret later. I feel awful and silly. But as what my bestfriend priest said a while ago...sometimes it is nice to feel silly hehehe

I thought after waking up today scared about the whole thing of settling down after 4 years of being a widower, I have to be honest once and for all. Indeed, it freed me from that fear. It wasn't meant to be. Better a run away bride now than later when you have to apologize to everyone else that is involved. I may hurt the guy for he loves me so much, but I have to give myself sometime to think and weigh things up. As my friend Carmelo said, "like any adult, we don't indulge in something we're not sure of so we won't regret our decisions later."

My other friend Pia followed saying, "when in DOUBT, DON'T. Painful as it is to force the issue, you will end up hurting yourself and him. The idea of love and marriage is always there but wait for the right time."

On the other hand, before I can even decide about the above, a surprised opportunity knocked offering me a job - in a way to serve our country. Wow, heavy...did you hear me? TO SERVE OUR COUNTRY. But this time, with a cost hehehe...well, if am scared to get married, I am not scared on this one.

How many times I have to throw jobs offering abroad? Countless. Believe you me, COUNTLESS. I thought I love my country so much, that I have to let go of some beautiful and promising opportunities a hundred times.

I ended up volunteering for something. Facilitating things for others. Pro-Bono talk and campaign. Marketing a product/ business. Name it, as soon as you mention VOLUNTEERISM, I am crazy about it.

At times, I have to learn to say NO. But how many times would that happen to me? Once or twice in a year ...tsk ...tsk.....at least am happier day after day. Family and siblings are conservative and nagging me about giving myself for others and no material/cash gain....i did my best, but perhaps, my best wasn't enough. I love humanitarian mission. I love the idea of helping others in a small way but with big impact to the beneficiary. I love to talk to people and cheer them up.

But today, the wisdom that I have gathered from my bestfriend priest is at no cost and is precious. Even precious than gem of gold. Thank you bestfriend {E.N.} and these are wealth that I can't exchange to anything else in this world. You have saved one soul from a supposed wrong decision.

The show must go on and business as usual, ika nga. I will remain the same cheerful person but is wiser and better than yesterday because of YOU. God is good and everything is in HIS OWN BEAUTIFUL TIME.

Thank you also to all my friends around who keep sending positive thoughts and is concern about what I do.

To be honest about everything is a HARD TRUTH. But as the saying goes, THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

Jesus, You became incarnate in the world to physically demonstrate Your solidarity with the human condition. Help me to never forget this and to never stop thanking You for Your commitment to me.