Q. 1. As a leader, do you believe that the ability to effectively deal with people is vital to building good character and to our success?
Definitely it is a YES. "We are creatures of emotion, not logic". In this sense, we act and react based our emotions first, then logic second. This causes us to do and say things that "feel good" at the time but we often regret shortly after.
Let us focus in dealing with your clientele as an example. Learn to control your emotions by practicing understanding and having empathy. If you don’t have good things to say, shut your mouth. Let us always think that we are to serve our clientele to the best we can, with passion and compassion. In the first place, you are not in that job when it’s not because of your clientele.
Q. 2. In dealing with other people, you are bound to be criticized. Aren’t you afraid of criticism?
I am emotional by nature. The words criticize and complain are by definition very negative, and thus bring out negative emotions in both the giver and receiver. I learn in Toastmasters, we vow never to criticize or complain. We would rather give feedback. A feedback when given in front of that person is positive, but if behind the back, that is negative and therefore is a gossip. There is a saying that “when you judge people, you define yourself.”
Q. 3. How will you defer yourself as a woman of 21st century?
I was asked of this question 6 years ago by some college students of Aklan College in their research project thru a recorded interview.
A woman who is realistic. A woman that have a strong faith and hope for the future. Women of the 21st century are the one’s who lead and serve at the same time, “not to be lead nor to be serve”, women of the modern world are self-motivated and is strong-willed, with conviction, a woman who have a strong belief in her own self that she can do good and make it even better for her and her family.
Q. 4. How do you maintain your composure when attacked by negative criticism?
By seeing things differently - I also have my weak spot, I get hurt but won’t make it linger, one shot there, grieve, and out I go. Then I smile. I only think about believing in myself and in what I do is only to bring about the change we were dreaming for so long a time. I only deal with it by staying quiet and I do not defend myself by embarrassing other people. In all the things in life when you do something bad, people will comment and criticize. Same as when you do well, people will still comment and criticize. What matters most, is that you are focused on what is important. I also pay attention to what is positive rather than the negative.
Correct me if am wrong. I believe that people give negative criticism because of jealousy or envy, out of anger or frustration and or concerned for one owns interest. On the other hand, people give positive criticism because of concerned of mutual interest and or concerned of your best interest.
“Don't allow negative responses of others to determine your value. Who are they to judge you, anyway? People are not the experts of your worth. It's God!"
Q. 5. How do you remain focus in what you do for the community?
I try to live a simple life so others may live. I like to see myself that way – simply M. However, since my personality is reaching for the greater heights (not necessarily by popular standards if I may borrow this words from someone somewhere hehe), but paying more attention to what truly matters in this complicated world. To contribute to the greater good, to help whenever and in whatever way I can. Focus comes from the willingness of the heart and the commitment of time. That is how I would describe being focused. Also, because I want to live a happy and peaceful life, I see to it that everyday, before I retire for bed, I make sure I have done something good, no matter now small it may be.
Follow-up question? How do you stay looking young?
Keeping young is doing what you love to do and make a difference in the life of others and it feels happiness inside. Besides, I see to that I wake up feeling good and feeling beautiful each day, because I believe, there is no such thing as waking up at the wrong side of the bed hehehe.
Q. 5. Why other women let themselves overpowered by men? If you are otherwise, how do you deal with it?
I remember when I got married, the officiating priests said, “the wife should be submissive to her husband…” That is for the married couple only. Honestly, I seldom did that when I was married hehehe maybe because it was a mixed marriage of two different cultures both grew up independently. My late hubby was the house-band, while I go to work. The difference was, he was retired and tired, and am both not hehehe.
Going back to your question, overpowered by men? Maybe because they let themselves to be overpowered….you can only be equal with men when you stay looking like a girl but behave like a lady, with a character so sweet but firm, remain a strong-willed woman though you work like a horse.
Likewise, I think some women let themselves overpowered by men because they think of themselves as inferior and they maybe influence by others around them who give them the idea that they are less useful than men.
Q. 6. What makes you feel contented in life?
I get enjoyment out of the triumph of other people. Also, simplify your goals so you get contentment in life. You give me smile and I feel contented. A warm and sincere smile is very contagious.
You become otherwise, and then what you get? “I do not want to deal with you????!!!!!
Q. 7. How do you celebrate life?
I celebrate a good life everyday. In order to cheer myself up, I cheer other people up instead. Then I treat myself to a good weekly massage, weekly facial and getting in touch daily with my friends. Either over a cup of coffee or once in a while, over a bottle of wine/beer; a personal note via tex or call, it doesn’t matter if local or long distance if I feel like talking to them. There’s no boundary, long and winding river or high mountain for me when I feel like celebrating a good life with a friend or some friends. I also do not allow myself to become jealous, angered or frustrated by another's action. Everyday should be a good life with God!
Oh! One more thing, I stay away from negative people.
Q. 8. How do you balance your career and being a single Mom?
I have an only daughter – CLOUDS who grew up more with the culture of her late Dad. It is a happy thought for me thinking of her growing up like the way we want her to be. By God’s grace, she is smarter than her Mom (smile), I am glad to say that and she grew up with fear of God and as thoughtful and compassionate as her late Dad. We never fail to say countless “I love you’s” everyday. She would even ask you if you have enjoyed your day in the office or outside when I am out of town. She fixed my traveling bag and personal things, too. She is even my little secretary at home and she knows when I feel good or not. I balance my day to day undertakings because of Clouds being sooooo responsible, she knows how to take good care of herself because of her own initiative and because first and foremost, the members of our family, from Nanay, to siblings, are helpful with each other, too.
I stay as bestfriends with Clouds. I seldom put my feet forward as a Mom. It is because I trust her so much that she will do well in school, stay good with the family and stay open to anything that she has concerns with. In return, I am the same with her. She knows who really the love of my life is (wink), because she and Nanay is my screening committee. She is aware that her Mom is a people oriented person and that she knows when I feel good or bad. She is my strength when I am down and she is the gem in the family. Clouds knows how I am addicted to “pro bono” when it comes to service to the community. However, she also serves as my cushion and No. 1 good critic when I go overboard J
Q. 9. If asked, what do I plan on accomplishing by criticizing?
There will be times when you feel that criticisms and complaints are necessary. Psychologically, very often the real answer will be "so I can feel better", in which case, the criticism or complaint is not necessary. If you wish to bring about a change in another's behavior, then you must practice the art of changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Or if you just wish to give feedback, do so in a way that leaves an overall positive impression.
You don’t need to shout at your employee, your subordinate or your clientele. You are just defining yourself when you do that.
Q. 10. How do you control your emotions in criticism?
Definitely it is a YES. "We are creatures of emotion, not logic". In this sense, we act and react based our emotions first, then logic second. This causes us to do and say things that "feel good" at the time but we often regret shortly after.
Let us focus in dealing with your clientele as an example. Learn to control your emotions by practicing understanding and having empathy. If you don’t have good things to say, shut your mouth. Let us always think that we are to serve our clientele to the best we can, with passion and compassion. In the first place, you are not in that job when it’s not because of your clientele.
Q. 2. In dealing with other people, you are bound to be criticized. Aren’t you afraid of criticism?
I am emotional by nature. The words criticize and complain are by definition very negative, and thus bring out negative emotions in both the giver and receiver. I learn in Toastmasters, we vow never to criticize or complain. We would rather give feedback. A feedback when given in front of that person is positive, but if behind the back, that is negative and therefore is a gossip. There is a saying that “when you judge people, you define yourself.”
Q. 3. How will you defer yourself as a woman of 21st century?
I was asked of this question 6 years ago by some college students of Aklan College in their research project thru a recorded interview.
A woman who is realistic. A woman that have a strong faith and hope for the future. Women of the 21st century are the one’s who lead and serve at the same time, “not to be lead nor to be serve”, women of the modern world are self-motivated and is strong-willed, with conviction, a woman who have a strong belief in her own self that she can do good and make it even better for her and her family.
Q. 4. How do you maintain your composure when attacked by negative criticism?
By seeing things differently - I also have my weak spot, I get hurt but won’t make it linger, one shot there, grieve, and out I go. Then I smile. I only think about believing in myself and in what I do is only to bring about the change we were dreaming for so long a time. I only deal with it by staying quiet and I do not defend myself by embarrassing other people. In all the things in life when you do something bad, people will comment and criticize. Same as when you do well, people will still comment and criticize. What matters most, is that you are focused on what is important. I also pay attention to what is positive rather than the negative.
Correct me if am wrong. I believe that people give negative criticism because of jealousy or envy, out of anger or frustration and or concerned for one owns interest. On the other hand, people give positive criticism because of concerned of mutual interest and or concerned of your best interest.
“Don't allow negative responses of others to determine your value. Who are they to judge you, anyway? People are not the experts of your worth. It's God!"
Q. 5. How do you remain focus in what you do for the community?
I try to live a simple life so others may live. I like to see myself that way – simply M. However, since my personality is reaching for the greater heights (not necessarily by popular standards if I may borrow this words from someone somewhere hehe), but paying more attention to what truly matters in this complicated world. To contribute to the greater good, to help whenever and in whatever way I can. Focus comes from the willingness of the heart and the commitment of time. That is how I would describe being focused. Also, because I want to live a happy and peaceful life, I see to it that everyday, before I retire for bed, I make sure I have done something good, no matter now small it may be.
Follow-up question? How do you stay looking young?
Keeping young is doing what you love to do and make a difference in the life of others and it feels happiness inside. Besides, I see to that I wake up feeling good and feeling beautiful each day, because I believe, there is no such thing as waking up at the wrong side of the bed hehehe.
Q. 5. Why other women let themselves overpowered by men? If you are otherwise, how do you deal with it?
I remember when I got married, the officiating priests said, “the wife should be submissive to her husband…” That is for the married couple only. Honestly, I seldom did that when I was married hehehe maybe because it was a mixed marriage of two different cultures both grew up independently. My late hubby was the house-band, while I go to work. The difference was, he was retired and tired, and am both not hehehe.
Going back to your question, overpowered by men? Maybe because they let themselves to be overpowered….you can only be equal with men when you stay looking like a girl but behave like a lady, with a character so sweet but firm, remain a strong-willed woman though you work like a horse.
Likewise, I think some women let themselves overpowered by men because they think of themselves as inferior and they maybe influence by others around them who give them the idea that they are less useful than men.
Q. 6. What makes you feel contented in life?
I get enjoyment out of the triumph of other people. Also, simplify your goals so you get contentment in life. You give me smile and I feel contented. A warm and sincere smile is very contagious.
You become otherwise, and then what you get? “I do not want to deal with you????!!!!!
Q. 7. How do you celebrate life?
I celebrate a good life everyday. In order to cheer myself up, I cheer other people up instead. Then I treat myself to a good weekly massage, weekly facial and getting in touch daily with my friends. Either over a cup of coffee or once in a while, over a bottle of wine/beer; a personal note via tex or call, it doesn’t matter if local or long distance if I feel like talking to them. There’s no boundary, long and winding river or high mountain for me when I feel like celebrating a good life with a friend or some friends. I also do not allow myself to become jealous, angered or frustrated by another's action. Everyday should be a good life with God!
Oh! One more thing, I stay away from negative people.
Q. 8. How do you balance your career and being a single Mom?
I have an only daughter – CLOUDS who grew up more with the culture of her late Dad. It is a happy thought for me thinking of her growing up like the way we want her to be. By God’s grace, she is smarter than her Mom (smile), I am glad to say that and she grew up with fear of God and as thoughtful and compassionate as her late Dad. We never fail to say countless “I love you’s” everyday. She would even ask you if you have enjoyed your day in the office or outside when I am out of town. She fixed my traveling bag and personal things, too. She is even my little secretary at home and she knows when I feel good or not. I balance my day to day undertakings because of Clouds being sooooo responsible, she knows how to take good care of herself because of her own initiative and because first and foremost, the members of our family, from Nanay, to siblings, are helpful with each other, too.
I stay as bestfriends with Clouds. I seldom put my feet forward as a Mom. It is because I trust her so much that she will do well in school, stay good with the family and stay open to anything that she has concerns with. In return, I am the same with her. She knows who really the love of my life is (wink), because she and Nanay is my screening committee. She is aware that her Mom is a people oriented person and that she knows when I feel good or bad. She is my strength when I am down and she is the gem in the family. Clouds knows how I am addicted to “pro bono” when it comes to service to the community. However, she also serves as my cushion and No. 1 good critic when I go overboard J
Q. 9. If asked, what do I plan on accomplishing by criticizing?
There will be times when you feel that criticisms and complaints are necessary. Psychologically, very often the real answer will be "so I can feel better", in which case, the criticism or complaint is not necessary. If you wish to bring about a change in another's behavior, then you must practice the art of changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Or if you just wish to give feedback, do so in a way that leaves an overall positive impression.
You don’t need to shout at your employee, your subordinate or your clientele. You are just defining yourself when you do that.
Q. 10. How do you control your emotions in criticism?
Those who are company or organization’s front liners, they should learn how to remain calm, smile and deal the concerns with....again, understanding and empathy.
Otherwise, you get what you don’t wish for ….. “I don’t want to deal with you.???!!!!”
Q. 11. What is your golden rule?
“Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” – Matthew 7:12
“Give and it shall be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap” (Luke 6:38).
Q. 12. What keeps you busy lately?
Oh! My plate is never full, huh!
I have just resigned from the Rotary Club of Kalibo. After almost 6 years of being a Rotarian, I would honestly say that, ROTARY brought a great deal of CHANGE in my life. Most especially when my Rotarian Lew passed away, I got addicted with VOLUNTEERISM and even putting my life at risk many times just to bring help to some remote areas. However, there was no regret leaving Rotary. I will be around soon again anyway (wink).
Recently, I was elected as club president of Kalantiao Toastmasters Club, Kalibo chapter. The club was organized in 2004 and finally chartered in March 10, 2005. We can talk more about this club next time.
My friends in the Diocese of Kalibo, Parish of Numancia have trusted me with Parish Youth Ministry where I am one of the advisers and Sunday commentator. This is my way of giving back to God – the commitment of me to serve HIM and in this way, to bring the youth closer to GOD.
Currently, I have full load of major subjects with Aklan State University, College of Hospitality and Rural Resource Management (CHARRM), Tourism/HRM Deparment, Ibajay, Aklan.
Some “rackets” and voluntary commitment includes being a practicing media with Aklan Press Club, business management consultant with ATHENA, event organizing and hosting, web administration, and being the newly appointed Executive Coordinator of Taghoy Philippines, Uplift Internationale (Denver, Colorado, USA).
Q. 13. Why Volunteer?
Because, I want to make a difference and make this world a better place to live in. It is not boasting when we put our good deeds for publicity. At times you get comments of being so loud. It is just to get people to know that, they too can make a difference. That there is hope in this country, because of people who are ready to give rather than to receive, people who can sacrifice and ready to go beyond the call of duty. We have a social responsibility and that goes without saying, you also has share of criticism in the society. Just be ready with an armor of humility and believing in yourself that you can do wonders, no matter what.
Most of all, volunteering is fulfilling and rewarding! There is nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.
Follow up? What is your favorite book?
PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE by: Rick Warren
Q. 14. What is your greatest legacy lately?
We got more important things to do than to waste time to get rich. It’s been a hard road and a lot of bad things happened along the way. I chose the road less traveled, ika nga.
It is not what, but who? It is Arnel. The 13-year old boy from Pinangod, Madalag, Aklan. He was the boy, thru Rotary and other non-profit organization’s good men and women, that he got his two prosthesis legs and now is enjoying life nothing like yesterday for him. It was dream come true for him and the family. Arnel changed some people’s lives that were together with our cause in making dreams real. It is doing beyond the call of duty and beyond the scarcity of resources, too.
Q. 15. What can you say to your benefactors/supporters of your advocacy?
No act of kindness no matter how small is being wasted. As the saying goes, gratitude is the memory of the heart. We often think that making a difference means doing something grand to create an impact. But we can do small things to achieve our purpose and can make a difference in our own simple way, in our own sphere of influence and help bring about the change in our country.
I say, THANK YOU to all and that my prayers to God is to give them good life, good health, good riddance! May the good Lord bless and keep them in HIS embrace.
Q. 16. If today someone will ask you to pray, what would that be?
From the Kerygma I read today before I left home...“Let us pray for the grace to seek out the will of God daily and then to follow it no matter where it may lead us. Also, let there be peace among men. Amen.”
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